Personally, I am of the opinion that if a young married man is nursing thoughts of building his own house, and hopes to do it at an age when youthfulness is still visible on him and not when he is old, he will need to meaningfully sell his wife the dream.
It is worthy to note that a wife is so important in helping you actualize your dreams in life… and housing happens to be just one of those fundamental dreams you are duty –bound to achieve. Now, for you to be able to build your house in good time, you just have to do everything within your power to sell that idea to your wife.
The moment you can do this successfully, you are halfway through actualizing that project and here is my reason for saying this: the way most homes turn out is a function of the vital role played by the woman in the co-ordination of things and activities in the home. This simply translates to the irrefutable fact that if she is not sold on the idea of any project at all, then, believe me, it is as good as taking a step forward and two steps backwards!
Yes, this is the situation because nine times out of ten, your wife determines how you spend, why you spend, where and what you spend on when it comes to the home-front, and if she is not interested in what you’re doing as per building, she could make you divert funds to things you might not necessarily have spent your hard-earned money on thereby reducing your ability to mop-up as much funds as possible for your building project.
Then, on the other hand, if the building idea was sold to her, she would channel all her energy towards blocking any financial leakage she can sense so that as a family you can conserve enough funds to be able to face the issue of your building project head-on.
My sincere advice to every man out there is that you should endeavor to recognize the strengths of a woman. This is paramount because sometimes, we male folks deceive ourselves with chauvinistic perceptions like;” I am the head of the home…, I am the lord and master!” How funny! The hard truth that we must accept and learn to live with is that ideally, the man is like a tool in the hands of the woman that he loves especially if they are married because if she wants to go out of her way to influence him “negatively”, she will definitely achieve her aim.
In the event that does not happen, she will make life at home for the man hell on earth! You are the head alright, but tell me how far the head go without the neck?
So, it is expedient that you sit your wife down and let her know that both of you ought to face and achieve your building project together in good time. I mean, getting her involved from the onset is a non-negotiable part of the deal.
Why? The moment she catches the vision, she would be able to run the house on a budget. She would also ensure that you cut down on your social and extra-curricular activities and expenses such that your dream of building a house will start to have a significant shape. In fact, she will practically nudge you in the direction of making sure that the house is completed. At that time, she will be all the motivation you need because everything she does and all that she will be thinking of revolves around seeing the house completed.
You can now see that it won’t just be about you alone in the house, rather it is about the two of you which will make things a lot better and easier to achieve as everybody will understand the stress, the strain and the discipline the family will have to put up with while the building project comes to life.
I’ve been in this real estate business for a while and believe me when I tell you that the power of a lady stretches beyond what our minds can wrap itself around. For example, I have made this observation in my years of practice; over and again, when I take a client to inspect a property, maybe to buy or rent, and his wife is not there, I already know that If he must take it, I will make another trip to the property in the company of my client and HIS WIFE. If a man can take an apartment without the consent and visit of his wife to that property, that simply tells you the kind of home they are running, especially if it’s not that she is out of town and won’t be back in a long while.
Based on my wealth of experience, the times I have taken people for inspection and their wives are with them, I aim my sales speech and techniques in the direction of the woman. Everything I do at that stage is geared towards selling to her because I know that if she can leave that property convinced that it is the ideal place for them to buy or rent, automatically at the back of my mind, I know that I have sold that property.
Even if the man is showing signs of developing cold feet, so long as the woman is seeing reason along your line and she is interested in that property, the man will sign your cheque. If he likes, let him be the only signatory to the account, you will get a call from him to come and pick your cheque!
On the other hand, if the man is so excited about the property and he cannot wait to pay, meanwhile, you can spot a frown on the face of the woman…don’t expect that Cheque. Because when they get home they possibly will have a closed door session without you hovering around, and trying to talk your way into their pockets. Your matter will be tabled and it will be properly discussed.
I’m guessing the conclusion they will come to will be the lady’s opinion. Chances are almost next to nothing that you will get that brief so long as the lady is not keen on the property. Invariably, this tells you the power of a woman: she can convert things and control things and make life heaven or a living hell for you.
In a nutshell, to achieve your dream too as I mentioned earlier, take time to sell you wife on it. And when I say sell, I don’t mean take her to the market wearing a price tag or arrange for a kidnapper and call for ransom from her family. Well, you can do that if she is a journalist, but seriously speaking now, I mean show her why it MUST BE DONE! Let her know the importance and do everything possible to get it done. Once she buys into your idea, you can be sure your house is complete.
MD/CEO Realty Point Limited