Oga Martins & His Kettle of Fishes – Episode 20

It was a sunny Saturday morning at 5, Otolorin street, Lawanson. Mr. Okafor was up early in time for the meeting he was scheduled to have with the tenants in his residential rental property. There had been so much hullabaloo the previous week, many pending issues to be trashed. Mr. Okafor’s countenance that morning suggested that he had a personal beef with most of the tenants in his property, and this was the time to settle scores.

“Jamiu! Jamiu! Jamiu!”  Sylvanus banged loudly on Jamiu’s door as he called out to him. That was the umpteenth time he was doing that at the landlord’s behest.

“Sylvanus! Put off his generator if he’s not going to answer you. We can’t have a meeting with that kind of noise,” the landlord voiced furiously. Jamiu was the most problematic of the lot. In fact, he was probably the major reason why there had to be a meeting that Saturday.

The landlord was already seated in front of Runo’s flat where the meeting was to be held. Other tenants had joined in the rows of white plastic chairs that had been rented for the meeting. There were only two tenants that were yet to join the meeting; Jamiu and Uju. Though Uju had sought permission to put her wet clothes out on the line, Jamiu was not forthcoming.

“Sylvanus, did you hear me? I said put off the damn gen”

“Oga Landlord I no go fit put am off oh! E be like say Oga Jamiu busy inside.”

“Busy doing what at 10 a.m?”  Jamiu’s girlfriend opened the door to check the intruder. Out of the many girls that drew his fancy, Patricia was Jamiu’s most regular acquaintance.. She was the most leveled headed too, but on this particular day, her appearance and attitude proved she had a ‘no holds barred’ night. She had just a eye-catching bum shot and ribbed low neck crop top on, and her hair was unruffled like she just came out of the wilds where a pride of lions had been hot on her heels. As she yawned in front of Sylvanus, her breath oozed into his large nostrils. He covered his nose quickly, but not quick enough not to accommodate a strong stench of alcohol mingled with cannabis.

Sylvanus had once told Jamiu that Patricia was the best thing to happen to him. Jamiu had laughed treacherously at Sylvanus’ comment. “Dude, don’t dare judge a book by its cover” he had told him. Now he knew what Jamiu meant when he said that. Patricia was a booze-head whose decency takes flight whenever she felt airy.

“Wetin happen? Na you dey shout Jamiu name like prison warder wey dey find escaped prisoner?” Patricia’s jibe threw Sylvanus off balance. The young lady had a much more friendlier disposition than she was portraying now. Sylvanus had enjoyed her company the little times he had spent with her whenever Jamiu invited him on hang-outs.

“Patricia why you dey yan dust naa? Abi your brain don dey touch?” All the response Sylvanus got was a loud prolonged hiss and a door banged on his face.

“Wetin dey worry the babe? Abi who be her mate for here?” Uju lent her voice to the unfolding drama. She had walked past Jamiu’s flat when Patricia banged the door. Uju and Patricia had a history that wasn’t so palatable, hence her reason for delving into an issue that was none of her business.

Sylvanus quietly left the vicinity without uttering a word. “Sylvanus, are you going to leave that place without putting off the generator?”

“Oga landlord wetin naa? Abi no be here you dey when small girl wey no reach our last born mate dey insult him papa.”

“Sylvanus you dey craze. Your Papa no get sense!” Patricia rained more insults on Sylvanus on hearing his comments from Jamiu’s flat

“But who the heck is that lunatic? Is she a tenant in this building,” Mr. Okafor said in utter disgust

“Oga Landlord you can ask some kain question oh! Na how many people you give that house?” Uju asked dissappointedly.

“Young lady, I don’t lease properties to tenants. I have people that do that for me. Even, if I had my way I wouldn’t be seeing any of my tenants, and there is no way we would be having this conversation if Oga Martins had not walked away from his job when he did.”

“But you know say na man dey stay there, you come still dey ask if the voice wey you here na your tenant.”

“Uju why you dey talk like say he no possible na. Abi no be Jamiu house you dey sleep before una begin get issue? And you be tenant that time oh! But person go come they wonder if them evict you for the room wey you collect,” Sylvanus quipped.

“Muchieonu there! Person wey put mouth for your matter just dey waist him time. You wey I dey try defend just now because one smalley dey insult your full village, na him your mouth they run like shell pipeline wey Avengers burst.”

“Hey please! I’ve heard enough of this hullabaloo. We are here for a meeting not a lecture on how to insult people using pidgin English.  Can someone please put of this noisy locomotive, the sound is repugnant.”

“Chai there is God oh! This our landlord dey speak sha!” Nneka couldn’t hide her admiration for the landlord’s choice of words.

“Oga Landlord dey there dey speak English oh! No go off the Gen yourself abi no be you get house?” Uju asked.

“So, are you saying you guys are scared of that nitwit?”

“Mr. Okafor, no one is scared of anyone here, if you want the gen off, then do it yourself. For most of the tenants especially Sylvanus, Jamiu is our Landlord here,” Mr. Obong, the oldest tenant in the building revealed with a tinge of sarcasm

“So who am I?”

“Our ceremonial landlord,” Uju concluded sarcastically throwing the other tenants into rapturous laughter

“Rubbish! that can never happen in a building I erected with my sweat

“Oga landlord you funny oh! if na your sweat dey hold this building, na him be say you be Merlin now. Wall sef dey collapse, talkless person sweat” Uju was having fun whilst throwing jibes at the landlord.

“Oh, please stop talking like an illiterate! That was an idiomatic expression. I’m going to put it off!” Mr. Okafor stood up from his seat in annoyance.

“Good!” Nneka was eager to see the aftermath of the landlord’s intending actions. Just a week earlier, Mr.Okafor had an altercation with Jamiu and he had threatened to deal with Mr. Okafor. In fact, Jamiu had shoved him aside when he confronted him and that incident was still fresh in his memory as he walked up towards his flat.

“Oga Martins!!!” Runo’s screams stopped Mr.Okafor on his tracks. Martins had just driven into the compound in time for the meeting. He had late minute change of plans, though he had told Mr.Okafor the day before that he wouldn’t be present for the meeting. The landlord couldn’t hide his excitement when he spotted him. “He is going to save the day for me,” he thought.

“Welcome Martins! Glad to finally have you around.” Mr. Okafor said beaming with smiles

“Good Morning Mr. Okafor. Good morning everyone! Runo how are you?”

Fine oh! Good to see you!

“Oga landlord, you guys haven’t started yet?”

“How can we start when that young man’s gen is on?”

“And he is suppose to be a part of the meeting?” Martins inquired.

“of course

“Have you informed him?”

“Forget it, Jamiu won’t come for this meeting.He is too full of himself,” Nneka responded.

“Then let’s put off the gen and start the meeting if he wouldn’t be a part of it” Martins walked up to the gen to put it off

Who be the mad man wey off gen?”a husky voice bellowed from Jamiu’s flat. That definitely wasn’t Jamiu’s voice. His wasn’t as thick. Suddenly , a young man in his mid- 30’s flung the door open to confront Martins. Martins thought the voice sounded familiar and he was right.

His past that haunted him all along had finally caught up with him. That image in his dreams was real. Standing before him with fiery eyes was his ex-classmate, room mate and best friend, who was supposedly doing time at the Kirikiri maximum prisons. This time around Martins saw clearly, he had no doubt and needed no soothsayer to tell him that the man that stood before him was none other than Deji.

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Well, this is where we draw the curtains on Season 3 of Oga Martins. For many of our readers who have been following this series religiously, you need no introduction on who Deji is and why his appearance here raises an eyebrow. Is Deji back for good or does he have a personal vendetta he may likely want to see to completion? How did Deji even become a close acquaintance of Jamiu? What is the implication of the duo’s alliance to Martins’ role as caretaker of Mr. Okafor’s property?

Find out all these and many more as Oga Martins returns for a fourth BUMPER season in October. 

Keep this page bookmarked and be on the lookout.

Remember, this series is sponsored by REALTY POINT LIMITED, the Sack Your Landlord People.

Cheers.