Home » Fiction Series » The BROUHAHA of OGA MARTINS – Episode 1


We promised and we are delivering. We are bringing to you the FIRST EVER REAL ESTATE FICTION SERIES. Through this series you will be exposed to a lot of things tenants and landlords go through with each other, as well as what real estate agents and practitioners go through trying to make a living and how all these affects you and I. All these will be brought to you through the eyes of OGA MARTINS and his BROUHAHA.

There is a certainty that this story will keep you asking for more, not forgetting the fact that it will make you appreciate real estate practitioners as they constantly make effort to help you achieve your housing goal.

Special thanks to REALTY POINT LIMITED (The #SackYourLandlord people) A real estate development and consultant company with a huge passion for turning tenants into landlords, who have brought this series your way.

Enough of the story, let’s get on with the BROUHAHA…


Grgggh! Grrggggh! Grgggh!

The alarm shrilled and Martins woke up with a start, his hand quickly going to the source of the noise. He turned it off, wondering why cheap phones had loud alarms while his eyes focused on the time: 5:30 am! As usual, there was no light but he put on the torch light of his phone, grateful for its multi-functionality as he flew off the bed in a hurry. If he didn’t want to be late for his first day at work, he had to get into the bathroom now or risk not having his bath. ‘He didn’t like the thought of that. Grabbing the pail, which sat under the wooden table and knocking the chair sideways in the process, he dragged his towel from off the door, flung it over his shoulder and ran out of the room.

Martins lived in a compound where there was only one bathroom available for the ten rooms that faced each other in a row of fives and ideally should contain one person each. But, with a seventeen million housing deficit, there were squatters and squatters’ squatters. The rooms were overcrowded and the landlord didn’t care as long as his rent was paid and a certain level of decorum and responsibility was maintained. The fact that a tenant could contact a toilet disease since there were thirty-five users rather than ten was none of his business. He had complained several times for the need to have another bathroom to avoid the queue that usually occurred every morning but nothing had been done about it.

Deji, his roommate had often told him to move out if he didn’t like it but they both knew he couldn’t afford the kind of place he wanted to live in. He however believed things would change soon. Getting a job in a company that specialized in real estate was a plus for him and would open him up to various possibilities. He believed this job could change things for him and make his life better unlike Deji who lived off his girlfriend and often crashed over at her place. He shook his head in wonder as he did every time he thought about his friend. He didn’t know how a man could just be happy doing nothing and just living off others.

The thought of Deji and his weird ways however evaporated as he arrived at the bathroom and saw Iya Nkiru and Temisan already there. He didn’t know when he gave a loud hiss. Temisan cast him a glance, her expression, a mixture of annoyance, concern and curiosity
“Wetin happen?” she asked.

“Nothing! Mama Nkiru, na only you wan baff abi you wan baff your children as well?”

“I go baff my children now. They no go go school?” Mama Nkiru replied as she removed the chewing stick in her mouth and spat out phlegm.

Martins shook his head and turned his face away while Temisan looked at her in disgust. It had been discussed several times not to litter the compound in any way and a section had been designated for brushing of teeth to allow proper flow of water due to the poor drainage system but reiterating that to Mama Nkiru was a waste of time.

She was just one of those women who liked trouble and as a wise man, he knew better than to look for trouble.

“Mama Nkiru you go wash that place?”

“Say wetin?”

“You for go brush for corner now!”

“Abeg Temisan mind your business this morning o! Wetin happen?!”

“This man never come out?!” Rotimi stated rather than asked as he swiped his toothbrush in the air to drain the water, interrupting the conversation between Temisan and Mama Nkiru.

His voice and the sound of water splashing within the closed bathroom door turned Martins thoughts back to the matter at hand. “Who dey inside?”

“Na Chris o!” Rotimi replied

“Hey God! Chris wey go dey baff like woman, spend thirty minutes for inside.”

“Make e sha finish, make I enter!”

Martins looked at Rotimi, a hint of alarm in his voice as he asked, “Na you dey enter?”

“Na me o!”

“Abeg who else dey this queue?”

“Baba Rafia,” Temisan responded

Martins heaved a heavy sigh, shaking his head. He couldn’t continue living like this.

Follow this LINK to read the remaining episodes.

Please leave comments.


  1. What a pity……….looking forward for next the episode

  2. OMG! I can only imagine Oga Martins, what a first day at work with all this Brouhahahahahahahah…. lol.

  3. I Must Sack my landlord…age isn’t a barrier

  4. woooow…. intriguing

  5. •=))LǻµGĦ ǿµŧ Lǿµđ=D Oga Martins for don sabi say for this kind situation,na to baff for around 12am go sleep.then wake up brush and wash his face.in that way he will neva be fustrated.

  6. Martins for don baff for nite na so e go do rub n shine dis morning….can’t wait for the next episode, really enjoyed this. Keeping my fingers crossed

  7. Oga Debo and your team sha, very thoughtful of you for this kind of product on real estate. I am liking it just that the first episode was too short.

  8. Where is Oga Martins????

  9. A true to life description of where i grew up. Nice write up.

  10. Martins should do rub and shine, nobody go know say e no baff.

  11. The real story is yet to unravel, fingers crossed

  12. This is a true brohaha

  13. Looooooooooool. I cant stop laughing chai.

  14. Typical face me i slap you situation.

  15. ooooooh, why is the first episode so short. I am already enjoying the story

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