We have heard of situations where the wife is secretly building a house and the husband gets to find out much later. There have been a lot of arguments raised on this issue. Some of these discussions have come to favor the woman and others, the man.
Nigeria Real Estate Hub decided to get the opinions of men on this issue and we got a lot of interesting reactions.
Michael started off the conversation, he said he would simply ask to know why she is secretly building a house.
Tayo seemed to be okay regardless of the reason. In his words, “maybe she wanted to surprise me. I won’t lose a sleep over it, because life is too short to be worried about such issues. I would only be offended if the family has been going through financial difficulties and she had not been helping out despite building her house at the same period.”
Oluwafemi agreed with his disposition when he said that he would not bother himself as she must have a 100% tangible excusable reason.
Prince started off with the other side of the argument, “I would be offended but won’t cry. Only that a change of plan and attitude will be birthed. Everybody has started an OYO life. Because, It’s a sign that she is preparing for life without you. It is also a sign that all is not well with the home.”
Alison and Olumide brought some humour to the conversation. Alison said, “Congratulate her for the surprise!” Olumide said, “I will ask. I will congratulate her and ask to be updated. She may need my knowledge to get the project to a conclusive end.”
More humour in responses continued as Adebayo said, “She buys the land, starts building and completes it without my knowledge. I wouldn’t like it because I wouldn’t do that but i’ll ask her why, if she says it was to surprise me, I’ll be cool about it, congratulate her and then go to one place to take pepper soup. And then we all keep surprising ourselves ? ?”
Joseph said, “If we have been living in a rented apartment, then we move in to her new house. I can’t commit suicide or give myself unnecessary headache over such matter, though it is painful to hear at first”
Seun said, “That’s a good one, I will congratulate her, the deed has been done already, it only shows there’s a loop in our relationship, as long as it doesn’t turn into a bragging rights. Besides the only reason my wife would do that is if I don’t allow her to be independent with how she uses her money, is it not both us that will use it together.”
Abbey expressed how uncomfortable he is with the idea of a woman secretly building a house. In his words, “You guys that are saying you will congratulate her and not be angry bla bla bla, well done o. What kind of project is that 1? Is it a surprise birthday gift? A building project is too much to be done in secret. Maybe the relationship had broken down a long time ago. I don’t know what I will do in short.”
Indifferent Ayo said, “Move in. Because that’s what she will do in similar situation, why should I act (or expected to act) differently?”
Read Olubunmi’s contribution. He said, “Omo this issue is just like my wife was pregnant, went through labour and put to bed all without my knowing. When I’m not absent by whatever circumstance and I ll later hear I have a baby and start jubilation. Toor congratulations to her ooo buh not to us at least not to me. Unless I wanna deceive you that all is well… you gat some explanation to do biko.”
Ebenezer said, “Only her will go and leave there. I am not still aware. She has no right to keep it a secret, same thing goes to the man.”
Akintayo said, “If we live in our own home and everything is fine, that is a good surprise but, living in a rented apartment or even in our own home and things aren’t fine then a woman goes building, hmmmmmmmm, I won’t take the shit. Most women who single handedly build a house without the consent and knowledge of there husband have some skeleton in there cupboard”
Victor said, “If we’re living in a rented house or we’d already started building a house that she hasn’t made meaningful contributions to, then she’ll have to explain in detail why we should still be living together ??. Because I don’t know what reasonable explanation she’ll give that’ll make sense at that point. She should goan live in her house alone. Otherwise (that’s if we already built our own house) , then I’ll like to know WHY she refused to let me know about it.”
Hear what Grace John had to say, “I am a lady and personally when a couple does not have understanding of marriage as instituted by God then a woman or man can do things SECRETLY without involving the other. Building is not a one day project as it weeks, months even years. Meaning, daily the person who is the bone of your bone lives in secrecy truely lieing and deception will escorts the secrecy. As it will take deliberate effort to keep the other out!! My take: any party in a marriage who can secretly be involved in such has tendency to kill, steal and destroy… The other partner needs to rethink. I can’t see what justifies that you sleeping and eating in the same house with someone who can take on evil! My view point o”
Let’s have your say. What would you do if you found out your wife is secretly building a house?
In whatsoever Relationship, Trust is one of the most important qualities the Couple must have in each other.
If the wife is well treated by her husband from the start, i see no reason why she would hide such a big surprise from her hubby
We absolutely agree with you Tunde.