Home » Fiction Series » Oga Martins & His Kettle Of Fishes – Episode 11
Oga Martins & his kettle of fishes

Oga Martins & His Kettle Of Fishes – Episode 11

The night sky looked beautiful with the alluring procession of stars, though the earth beneath where 5, Otolori street Lawanson stood was in turmoil. Jamiu had been spoiling for war since Uju mistakenly assaulted him. He didn’t even bother to go clean up the mess on him. He was one person that never forgot or forgave a hurt. He deals with a matter ‘as e dey hot’. Uju on the other hand was still running for her dear life.

It had been almost an hour since the chase began and yet Jamiu wasn’t off Uju’s back. It was like he was been paid by the CIA to hunt her down. He appeared hell bent on venting his spleen on Uju for the misadventure. Jamiu obviously wasn’t taking full cognizance of the fatality the weapon he was going to use to achieve his evil plans could cause. Uju was frantically searching for a safe haven away from Jamiu’s killer mood. It was already 8pm, darkness was gradually beclouding the earth

“Jamiu free this babe naa.” Nneka voiced her thoughts from the only window in the flat she shared with Uju, not stepping an inch out of her room

“Does he even realize he is holding an axe?” Madam Ekaette’s husband spoke from the corridor of his two-bedroom flat.

“Oga nothing concern you for this matter, just dey your lane make I no reduce your pot belle with this Axe.” Jamiu silenced the middle-aged man with his husky voice. Sylvanus stepped out of his room.

“Sylvanus where you dey go?”

“I wan buy soap”

“Abeg help me buy chilled coke.” Jamiu dipped his hand into his back pocket to bring out a 100 naira note. He hands it to Sylvanus

“Na 50cl make you buy”

“No wahala. Bros you for go wash up first na. Na this compound she dey with you. Shebi you know say LAWMA seal our gate”

“Guy you know me naa! I dey like treat person fuck up as he dey hot!”

Uju, a one time NUGA track and field 100 metres gold medalist had out-run Jamiu during his hot pursuit across the entire length and breadth of the compound. Jamiu lost sight of Uju within few seconds of being distracted from his new found career.

He made a U-turn towards the entrance to the compound. On getting to the last block of flat close to the fence, he was stunned to find Uju in the makeshift store-house where the PHCN electricity metre room was situated. Jamiu could not stop himself from reeling in laughter. A look at Uju in the small dingy space she found herself, you would think she was awaiting the hangman’s noose.

“Uju do you know what you are?”

“Bros, I can be anything right now, not even with that Axe you are carrying?”

“Anything is better, you are a nincompoop. Na PHCN metre room you come lock yourself ba? You think that will save you from my wrath? You go tell me when you become Nepa official.”

He raised the Axe in his possession above his head and slammed it against the locked gate of the metre room. Uju shook in fear. “Police oh! Police!” She shouted at the top of her voice.

Jamiu is undeterred, “You need to shout louder to be heard, because with that tempo na only Boys scout go hear you”

“Police!” Uju appeared to be paying heed to Jamiu’s suggestion. He bursts out in laughter “Uju aswear you be goat!  Where you think say the nearest police station to this place dey? Inside your room? Anyways make ah no spoil Oga Landlord gate because ah wan butcher you. Shebi na there you go sleep? No wahala naa. I dey here they wait you.”

Runo who had earlier returned to her room following Jamiu’s towering rage walked towards the scene of the disturbance in yet another attempt to leave the building. She began to speak from afar of to be sure she wasn’t going to be in any danger when she gets to the scene. “I hope all is calm now Jamiu? Please hope you don’t have that weapon of mass destruction in your possession anymore? Don’t come and tell me its a case of mistaken identity oh!” She spoke with trepidation

“Abeg carry that you mal-nourished body pass if you wan pass. Who notice you self?” Jamiu replied rudely.

“Errr…Jamiu don’t come and be transferring aggression oh.  I wasn’t the person who poured soapy water that was used to wash a runs girl’s under-wears on you” Runo countered.

For a moment Uju forgot her dilemma as she went for the jugular “Amadioha strike you for there! You just like to dey misyan. You are so full of shit abi your mouth na shalanga?”

“And who is the self-made prisoner? The last time I checked your name was Uju except you’ve been re-christened runs girl.” Uju is fuming at this point, however Runo continued her jibes. “Well, its not a bad name sha. It will fit your calling. I don’t even know what your mama was thinking when she gave you Uju. Anyway, its not too late to correct the mistake”

Sylvanus who just crawled into the compound from beneath the sealed gate was on hand to hear the tongue-lashing and as usual he added salt to injury. “Yehhh! Mogbe! Na person daughter dem wash like that? Uju aswear if na me be you ehn I go just…”

“Shut up there Ewu!” Uju cuts him off before he could finish a statement that had become commonplace with him whenever insults of this nature is being dished out.

“Gosh! Runo ah no know say you get mouth like this oh. Person wey see you now go think say you no they talk” Jamiu lent his voice to the unfolding drama.

“Chai! Runo aswear na me go kill you for this compound.”  Uju unlocked the padlock of the store-house in preparation to go for the kill.

“What do you think you are doing?” Or have you forgotten your assailant is right in front you.” Runo sensing trouble, reminded Uju of her travails.

“Uju he be like say to die dey hungry you and I sure say Jamiu self no go mind drink your blood tonight” Sylvanus added sarcastically.

Uju finally frees herself from the store-house to the surprise of Sylvanus, Runo and the other onlookers who were in the safe haven of their flats. She lurched towards Runo but was immediately stopped on her tracks by a rampaging Jamiu. Axe in hand, Jamiu  sprang towards Uju. He raised the axe in the air with a bit of difficulty. He hits his leg on a stone as he loses balance temporarily, however the weapon he held had spiraled into the air before he could regain stability.

“Blood of Jesus!” Uju screamed out in fear as the axe whirled towards her.  “Jamiu don finally kill person pikin oh” Nneka shrill cries rent the air. There was a loud shriek, then a bang and the wall behind them came collapsing.

Oga Martins and His Kettle of Fishes continues next week…

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