The BROUHAHA of OGA MARTINS 2.0 | Chapter 2

At first Martins could not fathom Akon’s presence in Deji’s house until some events began registering in his network busy brain immediately Akon’s alluring anatomy strayed out of his eyes’ scrutiny.

“Who would have imagined that the gorgeous and massively endowed lassie once lived in a “face- me- I –slap- you” apartment,” Martins thought aloud.

The muscles in his jaw bone noisily contracted on the tasty sandwiches the young sex goddess had offered Martins in his bedroom in skimpy clothes. Lately, unfounded events just kept creeping into his life with the speed of light like he was going to drop dead any moment, still he tried hard to tune himself with reality. Though he knew Deji had a strange fascination for young girls who had a great future behind them, he couldn’t recall Akon and Deji sharing any close relationship during her short-lived stay in his former place of abode but his wandering mind still tried to build a connection. However to do that he had to back-track events; he had to peek at a moment in his immediate past he would rather not recall. As usual he let his mind drift momentarily into outer-space…

READ ALSO : The Brouhaha of Oga Martins Season 1

Asides the frequent hullabaloo between Mama Nkiru and Mama Ruka, Akon was the only side attraction the male tenants of No 5, Kashimawo Street off Isakusa bus stop had gotten accustomed to. Martins could swear the likes of Rotimi, Chris, Baba Ruka, Baba Landlord and even ‘holier than thou’ Fidelis would kill just to have a moment with Akon. Akon had a “please take me if you can” enigma about her personality that left most men trailing in her wake, it was now left to the man to either succumb or take flight. She left most of the men in Martins’ compound ogling like they were under some form of spell.

Her life and dispositions during her stint in Baba landlord’s house was a mystery to many and to make matters worse, her only friend in the compound was a reserved and secretive Comfort. Nonetheless Akon was a no-nonsense babe

It was a Sunday morning; Martins had had difficulty in keeping up with his company’s new dress policy. His one month grace was over, now he had no excuse whatsoever not to comply anymore. Realty Point limited was fast becoming a strong player in Nigeria’s real estate hub and the nation’s mass housing supply sector at large. Things were beginning to take shape in a company that was steadily becoming a real estate hotspot in the area of services for real estate investors and would-be property owners. Realty Point had risen to a level they never thought they would reach in so little time. Hence appearance to work had become a key factor in the appraisal and continued stay of any staff.

Monday was barely twenty-four hours away and Martins was expected to dress formally leaving no stone unturned, anything less and he will be attracting a query from the Human Capital Executive. The laundry guy had just delivered the suit Deji borrowed him last weekend, which meant that for the first time Martins would be adorning a black suit along with a turquoise T.M. Lewin tie, and trousers matching in fabric type and colour. He relished the thought; he knew he couldn’t wait to see the reaction to what he hopes to be an awesome appearance. In his mind’s eye, he could see the ladies drooling…

“Dem go hear am” Martins uttered under his breath

On Mondays they were only allowed to do two colours of long sleeve shirt; sky blue and sparkling white. He couldn’t even say his sole white shirt had a sparkling feel to it but he was certain it did look creamy when dirty. He had done his laundry three nights ago which meant his white shirt should have been dry and ready to go by now. However, the incessant downpour that Lagos had been experiencing for the past two days only subsided in the wee hours of the morning leaving Martins’ clothes including his white shirt at the mercy of the early morning rising sun, that’s if the celestial flaming ball had come to stay and the heavens be kind enough not to open its flood gates for a troubling outpouring of water.

He would probably absorb the wetness left in it with his low-heat Alaba-made Philips’ Iron if the shirt doesn’t get dry before his side of the earth rotates past the sun.

All he needed do now was to put out his only white shirt at a vantage position where the rays of light from the rising sun would leach out the wetness from its fabric. That vantage position would be a small extension of iron rod from one of the weakened pillars holding the building. A spot some few metres away from Akon’s room which stood alone, away from the core of the drama in the main building. Baba landlord never gave that place out to outsiders because it was kind of private and was obviously the most befitting room in the compound. In fact it was rumoured that he once hosted his girlfriends there. The room had its own toilet and bathroom; it was more like a self-contained apartment bereft of a kitchen. The Moment Akon moved into the apartment, the tenants did know something was amiss. Just seeing her and the manner at which she went about her life’s devotion laid credence to mama Nkiru’s claim that Baba landlord never collected house rent from her till she left. They weren’t sure though if the duo were having an affair. Akon seemed to have a hidey-hole that shut out her life’s excesses from the spooky eyes of tenants like Mama Nkiru, Mama Ruka and Temisan. Notwithstanding, her charm alone was enough to make Baba landlord will out his entire property to the Calabar goddess.

Martins had only just stepped into his room after putting out his white shirt when he caught Deji staring at the girl that had greeted him moments ago from the only window in the room. Though he could only view her backside from where he stood, Martins could tell who the girl was not because their paths had only just crossed nor that she was spotting the same pink towel that left much to be desired but because Akon had a ‘behind’ that Martins would identify even if he were standing atop Oshodi bridge and looking down at a million Nigerian ladies shopping at the old Bolade market.

Martins moved close to the window as Deji walked away whistling suspiciously not realizing he had been caught staring. On getting close to the window, Martins could already hear chatters and murmurs from the area close to the only bathroom for tenants in the compound scores of tenants, squatters and even squatters who still harboured squatters were sharing. Reaching the window, Martins was alarmed at the sudden convergence of virile men at the entrance to the bathroom. Still wondering what had changed from the time he left that vicinity to the point he stepped into his room, he only had to look more intensely at the small crowd of men who attempted to form a queue when he suddenly spotted the cause of the mild commotion.

Akon was the spectacle!

She obviously was going to take her bath when Martins caught Deji staring. It seemed like the men in the building had acted on impulse, as if they had also been peeping lustfully at Akon who had been keeping herself busy around that area. Now every man whose window was angled towards the spot where Akon had been doing her dishes at the back of the house wanted to use the bathroom at the same time. Martins overhead most of them claiming to be late for church and he thought for a moment if he never figured all along that his co-tenants were men that had an undying love for Jesus. Some of them weren’t even holding buckets while two or three other tenants had empty buckets. Even Baba Ruka that is an Islamic faithful also had suddenly turned Christian because Akon was going to use the single general bathroom in the compound for the first time. Deji had left the room too on the guise that he wanted to get water so he could have his bath since he didn’t the previous night like any of the tenants in the compound had the luxury of night baths.

On Saturday evening, Akon had complained about the blocked water outlet in her bathroom and the caretaker had told her to use the general bathroom till he could find a plumber to fix it for her.

One of the ills of a tenement building is the lack of privacy. Though Akon knew what the retinue of guys that practically besieged her, were up to, Martins could see she had no interest in any of the dogs that her assets had let out. She even had to leave at some point when the stares and side comments were becoming rather unwholesome.
The charade ended the moment Akon left, proving that they weren’t anywhere close to been religious afterall.

Martins had been amused enough, now it was time to do his chores. He was going to pick his broom when he heard Akon’s loud agonizing voice just as Deji called out to him via the window:

“Martins!”

“Wetin happen?” Martins retorted.

“Akon has ruined your shirt” Deji rejoined.

“Yekparipa!”

Martins didn’t even wait for Deji to complete the sentence when he ran out like someone sprinting to clinch an Olympic gold medal. Right there at the alleged vantage position drenched in the horrid remains of sticky banga soup was his supposed white shirt.

“Ah! Akon! You just became my worst nightmare!”

READ ALSO: The BROUHAHA of OGA MARTINS 2.0 | Chapter 2

 

TEASER: It appears Martins is yet to come to terms with reality or how do you explain this new vocation of his? why does his mind keeps drifting into his past? Will he ever let go of his inner demons before it becomes his greatest undoing?

The brouhaha continues…